


Side By Side, We Go

by raelee514



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-16
Updated: 2014-05-16
Packaged: 2018-01-24 23:49:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1621451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raelee514/pseuds/raelee514
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU Story. Dean Winchester is in love with his roommate/long-time friend Castiel. Castiel’s been in love with Dean for years, but believes he’ll someday get back together with old flame Lisa and marry her. When Dean and Lisa decide to have Dean adopt Ben, Castiel is sure it’s the beginning of him losing Dean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Side By Side, We Go

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [ Anoradh](http://anoradh.livejournal.com/) for a Secret Santa exchange in 2010 at [ Groped By An Angel](http://deancastiel.livejournal.com/)

Side by Side, We Go

~Dean Age 4, Castiel Age 8~

Castiel was reading Treasure Island for the fifth time, when he heard his mother calling him. He got up and went inside the house. Standing with his mother was with another woman, she was pretty and blonde and had a nice smile. She was holding a little boy on her hip, and another one was at her leg, holding onto the fabric of her slacks. His mother asked, “Where are Jimmy and Gabriel?” She’d called them too. Castiel shrugged. “Gabriel said something about baseball at the vacant lot.”

His mother nodded. “Okay, well, can you keep an eye on Dean here, while I talk with his mother?”

The boy holding onto the slacks, let go, and stepped forward. “I’m a big boy, don’t need no watching.”

Castiel heard Dean’s mother laugh, then she bent down to be at Dean’s eye level. “Of course you are, this is Castiel, you can play with him.”

Castiel stood holding his book, he looked down at the little boy, thinking he wasn’t even big enough for kindergarten. What could they do? Castiel wanted to go back to his story. The little boy had big green eyes, Castiel met them with his. Silence. Neither of them spoke. Dean then seemed to make a decision. “I need my cars, Mommy.”

His mother then pulled a red and a black plastic car out of the bag slung at the hip that didn’t hold her other son. Dean took them, one in each hand and then looked back at Castiel. “You can race me. These are my fastest. I’m black, you’re red.”

Before Castiel had really processed anything he was kneeling on the floor of the wood floored hallway that led to his and his twin brother’s bedroom, getting ready to push a red toy car down the hallway. Dean had been babbling rules, they were easy enough, Castiel half-listened, while trying to figure out what this little boy seemed to like about him. No one really seemed to like him. 

“One, two, three....GO, GO, GO!” Dean yelled.

The two plastic cars sped down the hall and stopped side by side. 

~Now~

Castiel flinched, startled by the slamming of the door, it caused the red pen in his hand to make an errant mark on the paper he was grading. Castiel frowned, but quickly decided since the essay was already full of red marks, one extra wouldn’t be a problem. Chances were Marie Hannen wouldn’t even brother to see where she went wrong to help her prospects of passing his English course. More importantly he needed to know why Dean slammed the door.

Castiel had known Dean, all his life, at least it felt as such since they’d met when Castiel was eight and Dean four. They had never lived together before though, until earlier in the year. Dean had realized he could no longer afford the bigger apartment he had -- Sam no longer lived with him, he was out of school now and a lawyer. He had his own place, with his girlfriend. Dean didn’t need the room and had finally accepted Sam wasn’t coming back. When Dean’s parents had died in a car accident, nineteen year old Dean had taken on responsibility for Sam. Worked three jobs, found them the apartment, sold their childhood home because Jimmy, Castiel’s twin brother had shown him it was the best financial decision. Castiel himself had made sure to be there for Dean, Sam too, to try to help them deal with the loss of their parents. Castiel had grieved them too -- they’d always been more like parents to him than his own.

Castiel found Dean in the kitchen, finishing off a beer and then opening another one. “Dean?’

“Have you ever wanted to kill an eight year old?”

Castiel tilted his head in a habit he had when he was trying to puzzle something out, he thought back on his life. “I recall wanting to kill Jimmy a lot when we were eight. He was always putting his snake on my bed.”

Dean shot him a look. “You ever teach eight year olds?”

Castiel shook his head. “Just high school.”

“Right. I want to kill an eight year old.”

“Why?” Castiel asked. “This about Ben?”

“Yeah, it’s about Ben.”

“You don’t want to kill Ben...” Castiel started to say but cut off when Dean gave him a look of shock and disgust. 

“No. No way! His snot-nosed classmate on the other hand. Shit, haven’t hated a kid this much since Sam was getting picked on freshman year. Man, did Mom and Dad ground me for beating that freshman pipsqueak up, totally worth it though. I guess I can’t really beat up an eight year old right?”

Castiel would have just brushed off that hypothetical question if it had been anyone but Dean asking him. Dean he knew from bitter experience would and could cause bodily harm to anyone who hurt someone he’d given his heart and loyalty to. He wasn’t a bad man, he just dealt with his feelings by acting. 

“A thirty-one year old man, beating up an eight year old kid, would most likely land you in jail, Dean.”

“It’d be worth it,” Dean sighed and slammed another empty beer bottle on the table. “We have any whiskey?”

“What happened?”

“Lisa called me just before my shift ended at the garage. Ben came home pissed off and when she asked him what was wrong he burst into tears. Something about his friends saying that I didn’t count as a dad because I hadn’t adopted him.”

Castiel took a step to lean against the counter, next to Dean, their shoulders pressed together. Castiel let himself feel Dean’s body heat, he never could resist the urge to enjoy it while he could -- he wasn’t too proud to take what he could get -- but he kept his mind on the subject. He didn’t know what to say, so he said the first thing that came to mind. It wouldn’t help but maybe it’d give him time to think of how to help out Dean in this situation. 

“How did that come up?”

Dean sighed, “I’m getting a headache. He put his thumbs on this temples and pressed in. “Remember Monday I went in to do career day. Lisa did the one last year, it was my turn?”

Castiel nodded.

“Well, all week apparently I’ve still been the subject of talk. The kids loved how I build and make cars run. You know little boys wet dreams, I guess. Well, suddenly this one kid said that I didn’t really count as a dad. It’s because Ben’s last name wasn’t the same, and I wasn’t really his dad. Then he went on to explain he knew this because his parents weren’t his real parents but they counted as real parents because they’d adopted them. Had I adopted Ben? It’s bullshit.”

Castiel felt a pit forming in his own stomach. It was outrageous to him that anyone could say that Dean wasn’t Ben’s father. Dean had been there for Ben from the moment he’d found out Lisa was pregnant. He and Lisa had had their on again and off again romance going ever since. Castiel was just waiting for Dean to realize that it should stay on again -- sure after the last break up they both insisted they were just staying friends that it was best that way for them and Ben. However, Castiel knew Dean, he knew Dean wanted a commitment he was just afraid to admit it, and to take the risk since the few times he had tried it had backfired. Lisa though was good for Dean, Dean loved her, she loved him, they had Ben. Dean was meant to have a family, to have that family. Castiel knew he’d probably thought too long and hard on the subject but he also knew that maybe he hoped Lisa would end up being the one because at least Castiel knew she loved Dean for who he was. It made losing him to someone else less bitter. Not that Dean knew Castiel wanted him, it wasn’t really losing someone if you never had them, not really but that didn’t change the fact that Castiel loved Dean. Castiel knew it would never happen but a large part of him couldn’t completely let go of the hope nonetheless. 

“Dean...I...,” he stopped short. He didn’t know what to say. What did one say about a stupid kid making an awesome kid cry? Castiel wanted to punch that kid in the nose. “I see why you want to do him bodily harm.”

Dean laughed, pressed his shoulder against Castiel’s in a playful nudge. “Lisa and I tried to calm him down, but I don’t think we helped Ben at all. He seemed really hurt, upset, and angry at us. I don’t know...” Dean’s cellphone cut him off by playing Shook Me All Night, Lisa’s ringtone. Dean walked away from the counter as he answered it. “He okay?”

Castiel stood still, focusing all his attention on listening to Dean’s side of the conversation. 

“Okay. Yeah...OH!” Dean’s body went rigid, his eyes widened, he looked over at Castiel and swallowed. “Wow, uh, yeah on my way over to talk about that.” Dean hung up the phone but made no move to put it back in his pocket. He looked at it, eyes still wide, back still rigid until suddenly it all just fell away. 

Dean smiled.

The smile stunned Castiel. It was the Dean Winchester I am happy and this is as true as it gets smile. It wasn’t seen often, few people and fewer situations could elicit it. “Dean?” Castiel asked.

Dean kept smiling as he locked his gaze with Castiel. “She thinks we should talk adoption. Making me legally Ben’s dad... I...I got to go,” Dean explained and then he was out of the apartment as quickly as he’d appeared in the first place.

Castiel felt his stomach drop. This was it, this was the first step that would lead to Dean and Lisa getting back together for the last and final time. 

~~

Dean Age 16, Castiel Age 20 

It’d been past midnight when Dean had heard the doorbell ring downstairs. His dad, as always, had fallen asleep watching late night war movies on the television in the family room. After the doorbell rang a second time, this time followed by a loud knock, Dean heard his dad’s voice, probably swearing and then the door opened. There were muffled voices, then footsteps came up the stairs fast and loud. Dean got off his bed, dropping the Rolling Stone he’d been reading on the floor. He leaned his ear against the door -- curious at who could have come over so late. 

 

“John, slow down, Castiel is here? Why?”

“He says there was an altercation with his parents and that they threw him out.”

Dean’s eyes widened. “Castiel. Kicked out?” his mother’s response mirrored his own thoughts.

“Mary, he looks fine, but there is something in his voice. He asked to talk to us both.”

“Well, of course he can stay here tonight and...”

“I told him as much but he said he had to say something first, Mary, come on.”

“I just, Castiel thrown out? Gabriel Novak I’d believe it of, Jimmy maybe, but Castiel?”

His parents voices trailed off and became muffled as they made their way downstairs. Dean left his room quietly and was careful not to step on the squeaky step as he made his way downstairs. He had to hear this, Castiel kicked out -- he was probably going to confess his sins to Dean’s parents -- like Castiel could sin, Dean shook his head. Mr. and Mrs. Novak were strange, whatever Castiel did couldn’t be worthy of being thrown out of his home. 

Dean could hear his mother being well, his mother, telling Castiel to take off his coat, asking if he wanted something to drink and would he please just sit down already. Then she asked him what had happened, was it a misunderstanding? Dean nodded, that had to be it, his parents had made a mistake, maybe it’d been Jimmy who’d down something awful and they messed up. The Novaks were the only two people he knew who couldn’t tell Cas and Jimmy apart. Dean frowned, he found it more than sad, he found it pathetic and wondered how people like that could call themselves parents. 

“It isn’t a misunderstanding. My parents came home unexpectedly early from their latest trip abroad. I had a -- I had my boyfriend over, they reacted very badly and have disowned me. I didn’t know where else to go, however if you have an issue with my homosexuality.”

Dean frowned, that was all, his parents saw him with a guy? Dean didn’t like the idea of Castiel having some boyfriend, someone Dean didn’t know about but everyone knew Castiel was gay. It was what it was, there hadn’t been a reason to have a conversation about it. Dean blushed at the thought of ever talking to Castiel about it. Dean leaned forward to hear better. Dean needed to know his parents reactions to this -- it would be good to know. He liked boys about as much as he liked girls. Dean had almost told his parents a million times, but always stopped himself. He was scared of their reaction for reasons he couldn’t explain. 

“Oh, Castiel,” Mary said in that voice that these days made Dean both embarrassed and comforted when it was used on him. Dean squirmed a bit as he realized his mother was probably squeezing the air of Castiel in a what he called the ‘full-on Mom hug.’ 

“Mary, let him breathe,” John said and Dean bit his lip to stop from laughing, he could just see Castiel’s big eyes bugging out his head from lack of air.

“I understand if you don’t...”

“You are staying here. Isn’t he John?”

“Of course, of course. I’ll go wake up Dean, tell him to make room.”

Mary laughed. “Dean, get your butt out here.”

Dean rolled his eyes, she always knew.

~~

Less then twenty minutes later, Castiel was sitting cross-legged, on Dean’s army green sleeping bag, eyes closed, breathing even. Dean sat on his own bed, cross-legged, eyes wide open, staring at Castiel. 

“Uh, Cas?”

“I’m trying to meditate.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

Castiel didn’t answer and Dean squirmed a bit on his bed. Staring at Castiel, thoughts bubbling over his head. “Who are you dating?”

Castiel opened his eyes and sighed. “You aren’t going to let me meditate are you?”

“Who?”

“His name is Robert. I know him from college, he’s a history major.”

Dean nodded. “So, geek like you, huh. Why don’t you seem upset? Your parents kicked you out for nothing?”

“I knew it would happen eventually. They will never accept me for who I am.”

“I’d be pissed.”

“You’ll never be in this situation.”

“I guess....but Cas, man your parents threw you out! Do your brothers know?”

Castiel sighed, “Gabriel was home, he tried to stand up for me. Jimmy does not know yet, and I...” Castiel trailed off, looked away from Dean and started to pick the surface of the sleeping bag with his fingers. “I am uncertain of what his reaction will be. It is that that upsets me.”

Dean knew Castiel, knew he kept things inside, didn’t let himself show too much emotion but he always knew Castiel felt everything a lot deeper than people would believe. Dean had argued about it a few times with friends, Castiel only seemed aloof and detached from life, but he wasn’t. Dean saw Castiel, sitting his spine rigid, looking down when he thought about Jimmy. “He’s your brother, I mean...” Dean sighed, he always forgot for split second Castiel’s family wasn’t like his. Dean knew for sure that Sam would never turn his back on him. Vice versa too. “Why don’t you care about your parents as much? I just don’t... I mean Mom and Dad I care what they think -- just, uh, don’t tell them.”

Castiel laughed, “I learned a long time ago I would never have my parents approval. This was just too much for them to stand under their roof. They believe in a God who finds homosexuality an abomination. I knew this would happen, someday. I should have told them upfront, been braver. I regret that.”

Dean felt argumentative at the idea of Castiel not being thought of as brave, even if the person was Castiel. “You’re brave!”

Castiel laughed nervously but looked up, looked directly at Dean. “Thank you.”

“So, uh, did they blink?” Dean asked, suddenly changing the subject. “I mean my parents.”

Castiel tilted his head to side and stared. “Blink?”

“You know, the gay thing?”

“No. They are very open minded.”

“Think they’d be if the person was me? Well, not gay, but you know, bi, or whatever...man, why do they have to label this shit?”

Castiel stared at Dean, his eyes unblinking, long enough Dean felt like the harder he tried not to blush the harder he did, but he held Castiel’s gaze anyway, there was no backing down. “They love you unconditionally, Dean.”

It wasn’t until right before he drifted off to sleep that Dean realized Castiel was the first person he’d told about liking boys.

~Now~

Dean jumped out of the seat of Lisa’s couch. He’d fallen asleep, he hadn’t meant to fall asleep, his cheeks were on fire, blushing because of his damn subconscious. It got worse when he heard Lisa laughing and looked toward the sound and saw her standing at the foot of the stairs looking straight at him. 

“What?” Dean barked.

“Good dream?”

“What? No, no, I just didn’t mean to fall asleep, startled awake.”

“Dean, I heard you talking in your sleep on my way down the stairs.”

Dean didn’t want to know what he said. He didn’t. “Did you tell him?”

“He was too sleepy. He just had a nightmare, nothing he remembered. Gave him some water, a hug and a kiss,” Lisa walked closer to him, until she was in Dean’s personal bubble. She went up on her tiptoes and looked him right in the eye. “You said, and I quote...”

“Lisa, shut...”

“Cas.”

Dean realized his earlier blush hadn’t yet reached it’s full peak, if the heat he felt on his face and throat were anything to go by.

“Oooh, even your ears get bright red,” Lisa laughed. “Dreaming about Cas, huh?”

Dean groaned and let himself fall back down on the couch. “I rather discuss finding Ben’s sperm donor.”

“Well, we can’t do anything about it until tomorrow, it’s too late tonight. I’ll make some calls to mutual friends. Come on, Dean, spill. This is good.”

“No, no it’s not. Cas, is my friend, he’s Cas, and I can’t be thinking about him like...”

Lisa’s eyes widened. “Hey, wait, I thought this was just some embarrassing sex dream. I mean you must’ve dreamed about Cas before.”

“Uh, no! Never! He’s Cas.”

 

“Oh and when you were sixteen and had the huge crush on him you never dreamt about him? Come on Dean. You were sixteen.”

Dean wanted to leave, he didn’t want to talk about this. Especially with Lisa, it was all sorts of awkward and insane. “How do you know about that?” He asked instead, wondering how they hell she knew about his teenaged crush on Castiel.

“Uh, you know, the bendy weekend of awesome sex -- we were discussing our other top five sexual moments. You mentioned getting a blow job in public from this really hot guy. Cue discussion about your sexual orientation.”

“I don’t have an orientation.”

“Whatever, Dean...anyway. You told me how you knew you’d liked boys ever since you got a crush on an older childhood friend. Castiel. You said his name. It was an odd name, it stuck in my mind.”

“Fuck. Fuck. You’ve known about that all this time?”

Lisa laughed.

“Well, so, yeah, sex dream about old crush, sure...that’s all. Got caught by ex-girlfriend, mother of my kid.... Awkward. Can I go now?”

“No.”

“Lisa...”

“Dean, this isn’t just a sex dream is it?”

Dean groaned. Lisa knew him too well, could read him like a book and then tell him subtext he didn’t even know about. It was a pain in the ass. Her, Sam, Cas, all of them could do it. And all of them did at least three times a year, made him speak out loud about the things they could read in his face, his voice, his actions. Because it was them he always caved in and talked about feelings feeling awkward all the way through. 

“Past few weeks, maybe more, I don’t know, I haven’t counted...do I have to do this?”

Lisa nodded, her gaze locked on his face. 

Dean averted his eyes. “Been dreaming about him a lot, lately. Been staring at his shoulders, his wrists, his mouth...been all around distracted by him being well Cas.”

“Kiss him,” Lisa said, and when Dean looked up shocked by her words he saw her smiling wide and with her eyes too. 

“What?”

“I think you and Cas would be awesome together.”

“Are you crazy?”

“No. You are if you don’t act on this.”

“No. No. Cas...he’s...I...Castiel doesn’t want me.”

“Dean, I think you may be wrong about that.”

“This is just a thing, been in a dry spell, and hey I had a crush on him once before, he’s my roommate, he’s there...” Dean trailed off, something sounded really wrong with all those great reasons.

“You don’t even believe that.”

Dean closed his eyes and let his head fall back and hit the wall that was behind Lisa’s couch. 

“Dean, why not just ask him out?”

“Cas dates nerds, you know brainy guys like him. People he can hold conversations with.”

“Oh and you two don’t talk?”

“Not all that much.”

“I think Castiel’s likes you too.”

“What?”

“It’s not a secret. A lot of us think Castiel likes you -- a lot.”

Dean shook his head, he couldn’t fathom it, wouldn’t consider it. “Then a lot of you are crazy. We’re friends, buds, nothing else.”

~Dean Age 19, Castiel Age 23~

Castiel found Dean on the edge of the cemetery’s parking lot, far from where Mary and John Winchester had been just laid to rest, staring in the direction of more headstones and trees that populated the cemetery. It took Castiel a minute to figure out where Dean was staring, but then he saw Sam.

Sam had his tall, too thin for his height, frame pressed against a trunk of a large maple tree, his knees pressed against his chest so tight they were propping up his chin. He was stock still and staring but unlike Dean he was staring at nothing. Too caught up in his head, his anger, his grief about his parents; Castiel turned back to Dean. Dean was angry too, Dean was grieving too. Only Dean hadn’t been allowed anytime to fully feel the pain. He’d been too busy making funeral arrangements, telling Child Services that he was the person who would be taking care of his brother, going through his parents things, and dealing with a fifteen year old boy who’d lost his parents.

Castiel was standing behind Dean, but he knew what he would see if he could look into Dean’s eyes. Pain, a broken heart, and worry about Sam. Not one thought about himself however, though Castiel knew that Dean probably wanted to punch someone, break things, and yell -- but he wouldn’t because Sam had to come first. Dean had been saying that a lot since Mary and John had died. Castiel had prayed that God knew what he was doing taking those caring parents -- his friends -- from the world. Dean he assumed was probably cursing God out, if he even gave God a thought. 

“I don’t know what do,” Dean said, breaking Castiel out of his thoughts. “I don’t blame him for running out halfway through. I wanted to leave too, Priest droning on, friends and people giving us the ‘oh those poor boys’ eyes, heaping on apology after apology. What good is pity and sorries going to do us?”

Castiel stayed silent somehow knowing Dean wasn’t done talking yet.

“I should go out there. Say something, but what is there to say? I can’t fix this, fuck I want to fix this. Mom would know...” Dean’s voice cracked at the mention of Mary in a way it hadn’t since his voice changed. Castiel stepped forward and put a hand on Dean’s shoulder.

Dean breathed in and out heavily a few times. “What can I do for him?”

Castiel looked back at Sam, he hadn’t moved a muscle, hadn’t turned his head, probably had no idea that Dean was watching him. Had found him. He had run off over twenty minutes ago. “Sit with him. Don’t say anything, just grieve with him. You owe yourself that, and I think Sam just needs to know he’s not alone.”

Dean nodded, then just walked away, causing Castiel to just let his hand fall from Dean’s shoulder. He watched Dean walk across the space between him and his brother. Dean than sat down next to Sam, mirroring his position. Castiel watched for only a minute longer, then turned to leave the boys to their privacy, to deal with the mourners and the funeral home people for Dean. Dean needed his peace. It was with that thought Castiel realized Dean needed someone to be there for him in the same way he’ll always be there for Sam. 

Six months later Castiel realized that it was watching Dean walk to his brother with strong determined strides that he’d lost his heart to Dean Winchester. 

~Now~

Castiel was trying not to think about Dean and Lisa, which of course meant that he was thinking about Dean and Lisa. He’d get a few more lines into a student’s latest attempt at poetry, then find himself trying to talk himself into them being great for each other. It wasn’t even a lie. Lisa didn’t take Dean’s crap, she knew his bravado was just a cover for huge heart. Castiel just wished that heart was his. He dropped the pen and the paper on the coffee table and fell back in his seat. Eyes closed he tried to think about other things, curry, Joseph Campbell, a rainy day, Walt Whitman, snowstorms...a loud knock disturbed his attempt. Castiel sighed as he got up to answer the door, it hadn’t been working anyway, maybe the visitor would be a distraction.

Sam smiled at him, patted him on the shoulder and made his way in, talking a mile a minute about Lisa calling him, filling him in on the decision to have Dean legally adopt Ben, how Sam is going to give Dean hell for not telling him himself and that he has the release form that they need Ben’s biological father to sign. As Sam spoke the last words he popped opened his briefcase and pulled out a piece of paper.

A piece of paper that would sign Dean over to Lisa forever. More so than even a future marriage certificate would. Ben already sealed Dean and Lisa together, it would be why they would in the end become a true family. Castiel found he had to bite the inside of his cheek in order not to let on that he was upset. 

“You know, the first thing Jess said to me was, oh my god I never even thought about the legal side of things, just always thought of Ben as Dean’s,” Sam said, putting the form on the coffee table on top of Castiel’s students poems.

“I believe we all had the same belief, despite it not being biological or legal; however I must say I think Lisa and Dean are doing this for more emotional reasons than for any legal reasons.”

Sam nodded. “Yeah, Lisa told me how upset Ben is, poor kid. He’ll be so happy when it’s all final.”

Castiel nodded, having to smile a bit when he pictured Ben’s face lighting up at the news, at having both his parents. “It will be good, and soon he’ll probably have Dean back in the house too,” Castiel said.

“What?” Sam said. “Why would he be moving back in? He and Lisa decided a long time ago they better off as friends, and better friends when they aren’t roommates.”

Castiel shrugged. “They are bonded, they will always have the others heart, it’s a matter of time before they get back together. I’m sure it will be the final time. Dean’s ready to admit to himself he wants to make a commitment, create a family. With the adoption everything should fall into place.” 

As he spoke, Castiel turned away from Sam, so he wouldn’t see his face, or glean any information from it. Sam didn’t know him as well as Dean, but he’d been around Castiel since he was two -- Castiel had been his favorite babysitter because he’d let him read books that were above his ages reading level. Castiel used to open the door to the Winchester house and get tackled by little Sam, he was thankful that six feet five Sam rarely tackled him now. He didn’t want Sam to figure out how much the inevitability of losing Dean forever hurt. He was happy for Dean. He started to clean up the living room of miscellaneous things, picked up his students papers, careful not to knock the form off of the coffee table.

“I don’t think that’s going happen, Castiel,” Sam said, his voice sounding a bit strange. “Trust me, they aren’t going to get back together.”

Castiel turned. “Maybe I’m wrong,” he said to Sam, but he doubted it. 

“Lisa and I were talking, when she called about the form -- she told me Dean likes someone else. A guy.”

Castiel stopped still. “Oh.” He felt his heart speed up, it was thumping in his head, he felt out of breath. Lisa was one thing, she was worthy, Castiel had to admit that, but someone else. “Who?”

“A guy,” Sam said. “Uh, Lisa said he was a brainy type, Dean didn’t think he was smart enough for him.”

Castiel faced Sam at that and spat out. “Dean is highly intelligent. His perspectives on issues are always insightful and provoke thought.”

Sam grinned at Castiel. Castiel held his gaze with Sam for a while, starting to feel uncomfortable at Sam’s silence. Sam didn’t stay silent. “What?”

“Just like how you’re always there for my brother,” Sam said. “Make sure he gets that form, he’s going to the bar the guy works at tonight -- do you believe he’s still working at the bar where Lisa met him?” Sam shakes his head. 

Castiel nodded, but inside he felt uneasy and worried. Dean was into some guy, he hadn’t mentioned anyone, he hadn’t been dating much. He’d been going over to see Ben -- and Castiel had assumed Lisa -- whenever he had free time. As wishes one didn’t want to make went, losing Dean to Lisa was Castiel’s. Losing him to someone, another man at that -- that made him feel as if the earth was shifting under him. 

~Dean Age 22, Castiel Age 26~

Dean felt shattered glass hitting his forearms and chest, he didn’t care. He could barely see what he was doing, his eyes stung with the tears, but the crowbar felt solid in his hands and he kept finding car windows to smash the iron against to cause the sound of broken glass. It was the sound his heart had made an hour ago. 

“Dean.” The voice wasn’t loud but it cut through the blood rushing through Dean’s ears nonetheless. It was quiet, soft, it held stability. Dean would know it anywhere. He stopped short before hitting the passenger side window of an old beat up Ford in the salvage yard. 

“You know?” Dean asked, even though he knew the answer. He’d heard it in Castiel’s voice and it was obvious in Castiel’s presence here at Bobby’s. He wouldn’t be in a grimy junkyard for any other reason. 

“Lisa said you ran off. She’s worried about you.”

“I’m fine.”

Castiel hand grabbed Dean’s wrist, it was the hand holding the crowbar, his grip tight reminding Dean that Castiel was stronger than his thin frame showed. “Your forearm may disagree,” he said.

Dean looked down at the many small cuts flying glass had made on his arms and he sighed. He dropped the crowbar. It fell with a thud. His heart had done that that too an hour ago. “Guy’s a deadbeat. Didn’t even show up for the results, when Lisa called him, he said, ‘Oh, well uh do you want money?’ She hung up on him. Want to beat his fucking face in.”

Castiel tightened his grip on Dean’s wrist and tugged. Dean turned his head, looking at Castiel, knowing that was what Castiel wanted. “Biology does not a parent make. Your parents were more like parents to me than my own. Are you turning your back on Lisa and her son now that you know you aren’t his blood father?”

“Hell no! She’s going to need help.”

Castiel nodded. “Then the test meant nothing. You chose to be his father the second Lisa told you she was pregnant.”

Dean swallowed, used his free hand to wipe at his eyes, he couldn’t stop the tears anymore. “I really wanted to be his Dad.”

Castiel hugged him and Dean felt Castiel’s silent ‘I know’ and was grateful to know he would always be there to understand.

~Now~

Dean kicked the coffee table, the toe of his boot thunking against the wood in a very satisfying crack Dean imagined it sounded like what his fist would against Joe Reddy’s nose. He’d love to break that douchebag’s nose, he nearly had, only the importance of adopting Ben legally had stopped him from assaulting Joe. If things got messy, he and Lisa would have a harder time. Dean kicked the table again, he wanted to call Sam, now, he wanted to know what other courses of action they had. He kicked the table again and again and then again -- and it crashed apart into large pieces, Castiel’s students’ papers flying everywhere. 

“Well, that is a mess,” Castiel’s voice came from his bedroom door, dry and curious. 

“Douchebag wouldn’t sign the form.”

Castiel was in front of Dean now picking up the papers, Dean sighed and bent down, helping him. “Sorry,” Dean said.

“I understand. Does he want to be a father to Ben?”

Dean laughed, it felt caught in his throat. “Bastard didn’t even ask about him, just said he wasn’t signing away anything that belonged to him, like Ben’s some truck or a house.”

“Dean, you are crushing my student’s paper.”

Dean looked down at his hand and saw he’d crushed a paper into a ball, his fist tight and clenched, knuckles white as the paper inside his grip. He took a deep breath and started to try to straighten out the paper, but his heart was pounding, blood was rushing in his ears. He really wanted to hit somebody. 

Castiel’s hand wrapped around his wrist, stalling his actions and he gently took the paper away from Dean, flattening it with ease. “Oh it’s Amanda Whitfield’s paper, no worries. C-Minus work always, doesn’t care to do better, though she could.”

Dean listened to Castiel without hearing the words, instead he focused on his tone of voice, trying to find a way to calm his temper with the low gravelly cadence. His eyes closed and he let himself fall to the floor completely, sitting with his knees in front of him against the couch. 

“You could call Sam.”

“It’s past one in the morning. Jessica just got a two day shift at the hospital.” Dean grabbed his knees, one with each hand, held on too tight. Pain might ground him a bit, stop him from going back to the bar and breaking Joe’s nose. 

“You are Ben’s father.” Castiel said. 

Dean opened his eyes, breathed in and out and felt suddenly clearer as he held Castiel’s gaze. Castiel looked sure, confident, when he’d spoken it’d been full belief. 

“I really want to break the douchebag’s fucking nose.”

 

~Dean Age 23, Castiel Age 27~

Castiel’s arm hurt, Todd had broken it, nonetheless he wasn’t happy about why he was currently standing in the Lawrence police station. Dean needed to think before he acted, Sam might be at Stanford, but he still needed his big brother to be there for him. Not in jail because of an insecure dolt with insecurity issues that he took out on his boyfriend -- Castiel. Castiel blushed, embarrassed by his own choice in men, at least it had only taken two weeks to find out Todd wasn’t worthy. A broken arm was not the way he’d have chosen to find out however and Dean in jail was definitely something he didn’t want. He never should have told Dean the truth, he thought idly, as if he could lie to Dean. 

A door swung open and an officer walked out with Dean following him, a bag in his hand pulling out his car keys. He looked up and saw Castiel and instantly his expression turned stubborn and defiant. Castiel however found himself distracted by the cuts on Dean’s knuckles, there was blood and he sighed. 

“Don’t tell me I shouldn’t have. He deserved it.”

Castiel shook his head. “You broke two of his ribs, his nose and gave him a concussion, according to the officer I talked too Dean. You’re lucky he didn’t press charges.”

Dean shrugged. “You pressed charges against him right?”

“I talked to someone here, but there isn’t much they can do. Besides not like I’m going to see him again.”

“Good. Knew that guy was no good, Cas, way he talked you...” Dean clenched his fists. 

Castiel sighed. “Dean you shouldn’t have...”

“You are too good, and no one hurts you without getting punched. Warn the next stupid ass boyfriend you get who thinks he’s smarter than the rest of the world.”

Castiel didn’t know what to say to that so he grabbed one of Dean’s wrists, pulling his hand closer for inspection. “These cuts look bad.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Still.”

“How is your arm?” Dean asked, glancing at the left arm which was in a sling.

“Hurts a lot, just happy it wasn’t my right arm.”

“You shouldn’t have driven down here.”

“Your car is still in front of Todd’s place, what were you going to do, walk?”

“Cas, you’re hurt.”

Castiel gave Dean’s knuckles a look. “And you hurt yourself over me.”

“Yeah, so?”

“Dean,” Castiel sighed, he didn’t like how a part of him was flattered. “Just,” he said, pulling his car keys out of his pocket with his good hand. “You drive.”

“Cas, look, I just... I saw red. You’re, you’re too good...” Dean trailed off and took the keys. “Let’s ride.”

 

~Now~

Dean opened the door at Lisa’s to find Sam’s hand in his face. Sam was on his cellphone, making huh-huh noises and shaking his head. Dean sighed. The last thing he wanted right now was for his brother’s job to get in the way of his brother using his job to help him and Lisa with their quest to make Ben legally Dean’s. Dean kicked himself mentally for the millionth time for not thinking about doing this back when Ben was born, or even before hand -- even then they all knew that Joe Reddy wasn’t going to be there. He’d tried to call Lisa a liar, a manipulator, it’d taken a lot to get him to even let his blood be drawn for the paternity test and even then he hadn’t shown up for results, just like he hadn’t shown up for the birth, or to at least look at Ben. 

Dean fought the urge to put a hole in Lisa’s cream colored living room walls with his fist. He turned to Lisa and sighed as Sam kept making noises to let the person know he was listening. It was nearing midnight, Sam’s work hours always being so long and random -- by his own choosing, damn overachiever, Dean thought with more irritation than pride for once. 

“Yes, I’ll be there soon, right, yeah. Don’t worry.” Sam hung up and sighed. “Uh, guys, Castiel is in jail.”

Dean stared at Sam, his brother was asking for a punch in the nose. It felt like the whole world was this week. Messing with him right now was not a good idea. “Sam, quit it, can we talk about our options.”

“No, Dean, I’m not kidding. Castiel is in jail. He went down to the bar, he apparently sucker punched Joe, a bar fight broke out and Castiel, Joe and bunch of other guys are in a holding cell down at the police station while they try to sort everything out. Castiel gave my name, I’ve got to go down there, see if I talk the bar owner into not pressing charges.”

“Oh my God,” Lisa said. 

“Son of a bitch, what the hell?” Dean yelled at his brother. “He’s in jail? Over this shit? Cas?” Dean swallowed, a lump was in his throat. Initially he’d been shocked but saying it out loud made another thought occur to him. “Is he hurt? Is he okay? I mean, I know he has a black belt in something but he does it for spiritual reasons. Sam? Answer me!”

“Shh, Dean,” Sam held his hands up. “Been trying too. He sounded fine, I don’t think he’s hurt.”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck...” Dean started to mutter.

“Mommy, Dean?” Ben was running down the stairs. “What’s wrong!”

Dean paled and swore again under his breath. Great he’d woken up Ben. “Sam, get him out of there.”

Sam nodded and left the house.

Lisa was already on her knees explaining to Ben that Dean was just worried about Castiel, he’d been in a little accident but he was fine. Dean rolled his eyes, tried to take deep breaths to calm down, it seemed to be all he was doing lately. Either he was a live wire wanting to punch and destroy things, or he was breathing to calm the hell down. Ben wouldn’t believe he was okay until he convinced him. He put on his best smile before kneeling down to be at Ben’s level. He’d calm Ben down then go make sure Castiel was okay. Then possibly rip him a new hole.

~~

“Damn, Castiel, your face,” Sam said.

Castiel couldn’t hold Sam’s surprise against him. He had a split lip, a cut on his cheek and one of his eyes felt swollen shut. Castiel was sure it was already a brilliant shade of purple. “I am fine,” he said as an answer. 

“You sure?” Sam asked, stepping closer as if he stared at Castiel he’d be able to find more injuries. 

“I am sure.”

“I hate to ask but how does Reddy look?”

“I think I cracked a rib and I definitely broke his nose if the two black eyes he is sporting is any indication.”

Castiel enjoyed Sam’s smile at the news, he was quite happy himself despite the niggling shame he felt at having assaulted someone. Castiel prided himself on being able to use his intellect to diffuse situations. However the importance of Ben in Dean’s happiness had made this situation too much of a trigger for him. Seeing what a lousy human being Joe Reddy was, on top of his ridiculous accusations about Lisa and Dean had just angered Castiel past thought. He’d never understood Dean’s desire to break things more than moment before he punched Joe in the nose. “How much trouble am I in?”

“None.” Sam said with a smile and slide a piece of paper that was on the table in the room closer to Castiel. “Just need to sign that.”

Castiel tilted his head to the side but took the pen Sam handed him to sign the paper. “How?”

“I told Walter Hanson the truth. You were trying to make Joe Reddy see sense about Ben, and his irresponsibility and complete incomprehension of the real issue at hand had you seeing red. I am assuming that is what happened?”

Castiel sighed. “I am afraid so. Mr. Hanson he bought this?”

“Reddy’s been his bouncer for over a decade. He knows he’s a douchebag.”

“Thank you, Sam,” he said, handing back the pen.

“No problem. Now get out of here, because I’m about to have a talk with Mr. Reddy myself.”

Castiel felt a pit in his stomach. “What? Why? Is that wise, Sam?”

Sam laughed. “I have a plan, if it goes as I expect he won’t be able to sign away his parental rights fast enough.”

“How?”

“Lisa will sue for child support, to be retroactive from the day Ben was born.”

Castiel grinned even as he felt a bit thick for not realizing that tactic himself. “Of course. She has every right to do so.”

Sam nodded. 

“Very sly, Sam.”

“Thanks.”

There was a knock at the door. Castiel gave Sam a look to say goodbye then opened the door. Joe Reddy glared at him. Castiel glared back but then grabbed the attention of the officer. “Where can I get back my personal effects?”

“Main desk.”

“Thank you,” he said, and gave one last glance at Sam.

Sam looked smug and winked at Castiel.

Castiel tried not to laugh.

~~

Listening to Lisa was stupid, Dean decided. He should not have gone home and tried to cool off. He should’ve driven to the police station, made sure Castiel was in one piece and then ripped him into little pieces. Dean kicked at the already broken heap of a coffee table in their living room, it was a futile action. The broken pieces weren’t enough of a hard surface anymore for his rage. He curled his fists and looked at their walls and made himself pace instead.

What had Castiel been thinking? Joe Reddy was a bruiser, his job was as a bouncer for Christ’s sake. Sure he was a bastard who deserved to have his nose punched, but not by Castiel. Castiel wasn’t violent? What the hell had happened? Joe must have hit first, Dean didn’t care what Sam had said before he left. No way Castiel starts a bar fight, Castiel shouldn’t be anywhere near that kind of crap anyway. He was a nerd, he wrote things that were literature, he dealt peacefully day in and day out with stupid hormone driven high schoolers. 

Dean pulled out his phone, pressed his brother’s number. “This is Samuel J. Winchester, please leave me a detailed message.” Dean hung up and pressed Castiel’s number. “Uh, oh. This is Casti..” the message cut off because Castiel started talking too late. Usually this caused Dean to smile. That was Castiel, a real life absent minded professor at times. Not some idiot who went to seedy bars and started fights. That was Dean. Not Cas. Dean closed his eyes. It was time to try to breathe again. This week had started crappy and was just getting crappier.

The door opened. Dean turned and watched Castiel walk inside. Castiel looked up and greeted Dean with a wry smile. Dean however only saw red. As in blood. He rushed over to Castiel, thumb on his lips just missing the split. The fingers of his other hand on the cut on his cheek, his eye going over it all, taking in blood, and the bruising. Especially around Castiel’s black eye. “What the hell?” Dean said. “What the hell? Son of a bitch, Cas? What the hell?”

“He is worse for wear.”

Dean didn’t hear Castiel, he just turned and went into the kitchen. Freezer open and searching for a bag of peas. All he could find was a bag of Castiel’s frozen edamame He suppoed that would do. He turned around, started finding Castiel too close by and growled. “You’re supposed to nerdy,” he said, placing the bag on Castiel’s eye. “You know, smart.”

Dean watched Castiel wince at the cold from the bag, but didn’t feel all that bad about it being cold. Normally he’d murmur something about being sorry to whoever was nursing him after a fight. But not Castiel. “What the hell, Cas?” he said again, still feeling somewhere between worry and anger. 

“I thought I might be able to make him see what was best,” Castiel said.

“Stupid. Why? You shouldn’t have done that. You should have just stayed away from there!”

Castiel stiffened, grabbed the bag and moved away. “Dean my last intention was possibly to make things worse, however I do think Sa...”

“You don’t belong...” Dean yelled, not listening to either Castiel or himself. He couldn’t hear anything right now. All he saw was Castiel Novak, his nerdy best friend, the guy he had possibly fallen in love with, the man who was a better person than him, and definitely didn’t belong in the fray of things between idiots like Dean and Joe Reddy. 

Castiel was suddenly in his face. “Fine. I don’t belong in your family issues. I don’t belong at all do I! You and Lisa will adopt Ben, get married and I’ll just be here won’t I. Alone. I wanted to make sure you got that happiness. I get I don’t have a place in your life, as much as I want too, as much as I love you!”

Dean blinked and Castiel realizing what he said blushed and disappeared. Dean jumped when he heard Castiel’s bedroom door snap shut. He hadn’t had heard that right, he couldn’t have. He was shaking he realized, and he’d been standing in one place for far too long. Dean went to Castiel’s door and tried the knob, it was locked. 

“Cas? Cas, open up.”

“I have papers to grade, Dean. It’s been a long day. Good night.”

“Cas, look, uh...” Dean sighed. Maybe he should take the out. Castiel was going to let it slide, pretend it hadn’t happned, but he couldn’t let that lie. He couldn’t do that because Castiel had things wrong and Dean had to fix that. “Cas, open the door, I’m calmer now, and look we’ve got a bit of misunderstanding going on here.”

“Dean, I much rather we let this be. You’ll be moving out soon enough.”

Dean groaned in frustration. “Cas, open the damn door.”

He was soundly ignored, anger started to flare up again this time at how incredible stubborn Castiel could be and also if he, Dean Winchester, wanted to discuss difficult emotional things then he wasn’t going to let a door get in his way. Before he knew it his boot was hitting the door soundly by the knob and it flew open, wood splintering around the impact point. 

Castiel was sitting on his bed, papers all around him, but staring right at Dean. “Dean!”

“Good, now we are face to face. First of all I am not marrying Lisa. Ever. I’m not moving out of here either. And what the hell would make you think that?”

“You’re going to adopt Ben. Lisa and you are close, she’s good for you, you love her. You want to have family, Dean, you put up this macho man bachelor front but I know you. You want what your parents had. Lisa can give you that.”

“Lisa can’t give me that. We don’t work togther, besides I don’t love her like that, haven’t for a long time, if I ever did. Ben, her and me, sure we’re a family but not like that.”

“You want that.”

Dean swallowed over the lump that had moved into his throat. “I want you.”

Castiel got off the bed in a huff, his face red with anger. “Don’t play with me Dean. You just yelled how I don’t belong, you don’t want me messing around with your family and I don’t blame you, but don’t come in here and mock what I have just told you I feel -- however accidentally it was, you know me well enough to know it was the truth.”

“Mock? Wait? I meant you don’t belong in seedy bars getting in fights with guys like me.”

“Joe Reddy is nothing like you. He’s a bastard, you are a man.”

“And, uh, yeah I don’t really believe you love me cause why the hell would you love me? You’re a genuis, you’re going to write something that will win whatever top prizes they give writers. You teach kids and you reach them -- I mean you got me through high school English with an A. And it was your first year. You.. I.. I’ve been wanting more from you off and on since I was fifteen Cas.”

Silence followed Dean’s declaration, the words were just there hanging in the air, Castiel was staring, his head a bit cocked to the side, his eyes bugging out the way they did that made Dean think he looked like a cartoon kitten. Dean hated silence, almost as much as he hated talking. So he took action, he took the one step that crossed the distance between him and Castiel and kissed him.

Immediately he tasted blood, Castiel gave a muffled sound of pain and pushed Dean away. Dean staggered back, face heating up with nerves, and Castiel was looking at him like he’d never seen Dean before. Castiel who knew him inside and out, Dean had been so sure that was the next move. What else was left? He’d screwed up, Dean thought his stomach roiling with anxiety. 

~~

Castiel’s hand rose and touched his lip. But he wasn’t sure if it was because the kiss had reopened the wound or because Dean had kissed him. His lip hurt, it was bleeding was one thought, the obvious thought. The other thought was Dean kissed him, and it was on a loop like he was a teenage boy who’d just gotten his first unexpected kiss. And truth be told most of Castiel’s kisses were unexpected, his dates ususally would start making fun of him for being oblivious about when they were sending out seductive singals. A few had even dumped him for his obliviousness. Only Dean was never sublte, he didn’t give singals, he stated, he did things, so why the hell was he only finding out now about teenage crushes, and feelings Dean had now as a adult. Was he being oblivious, was Dean crazy, Castiel swallowed. 

“Cas?” Dean said, his voice breaking a bit in the way it did when he was nervous. 

“I,” Castiel said, looking back at Dean again for the first time since the kiss ended. “I, uh have a split lip.” Castiel rolled his eyes.

“I forgot, sorry, I uh...” 

“You kissed me.”

“Yeah, I, you said...I’m sorry I thought you were saying that you wanted me.”

Castiel felt his stomach flip, something suddenly clicked in place in his head. Dean was right he had said that, he’d let it slip out in anger but it’d been more fueled by fear. Dean hadn’t meant any of the things that had cut him like a knife, when he thought Dean wanted him out of his life, out his business. Dean didn’t love Lisa, Dean wanted him -- Dean had said he wanted him. “I do. I do want you, I have for a long time -- I suck at relationships because I want you, but I didn’t think you’d ever...”

Dean laughed. “I thought that too. Why would Cas want me? I just...Castiel you’ve been driving me crazy since you moved in here. The bedhead in the morning, running into you after you’ve taken a shower, making breakfast...” Dean trailed off but his hands were on Castiel’s hips, his mouth was near Castiel ear. “Please say that kiss wasn’t a mistake?”

Dean vulnerable in his ear made Castiel shiver, his stomach filled with butterflies again and he nodded. “No, it wasn’t,”

“Good,” Dean said and started kissing his neck.

Castiel closed his eyes and grabbed at the hem of Dean’s shirt. Dean was cursing about dumb split lips, as his mouth moved against his jawline. “want to know what it’s like to kiss you,”

All Castiel could do was murmur an affirmative, Dean broke away with a growl to let Castiel take off his shirt, then Dean grabbed the hem of Castiel’s and pulled it off. Then it turned out it was Castiel’s turn to forget about his lip, he pressed this mouth against Dean’s neck, and ended up wincing in pain and pulling back to hear Dean’s laughter.

“It’s not funny,” Castiel said, “Want to taste you, been waiting forever, am not feeling patient.”

“Me either,” Dean said, his hands dropping to Castiel’s pants button. “Other things to do.”

Castiel nodded, looking Dean straight int he eye, Dean licked his lips. “Cas?”

Then there was shout. “Dean? Cas? Guys?”

Both Dean and Castiel jumped apart, both looked around Castiel’s bedroom futilely looking for their shirts when Sam, with Lisa behind him, poked his head in the room. “Oh, uh, hi guys?”

“Did you find them?” Lisa asked, then she was close enough to see past Sam’s frame and her face broke out in smile. “Oh!”

Castiel watched Dean glare at his brother and Lisa. “What? Why are you two here in the middle of the night? Where is Ben?”

“My mom came over for me, Sam said it was important to be here when he got back. Found me letting myself in since you two weren’t answering the door.”

“You were knocking?” Dean said.

Castiel hadn’t heard anything, all he’d been able to see since getting home was Dean. Sight, sound, smell, he started to smile only to realize he already was, so he tried not too and found he couldn’t. Looking at Dean, he saw the same thing on his face. 

“Ben. Adopting. Him,” Sam said slowly and distinctly with a condescending tone. 

Dean stared. “What about it? The guy is a douche, Cas, couldn’t even get through to him.”

“Everyone was trying reason on an unreasonable person,” Sam said. “I didn’t.”

Castiel’s brain supplied him a reminder of his earlier conversation with Sam at the poilice station. His plan, Castiel’s confidence that it was going to work and he started to smile even wider. “It worked.”

“What, what worked?” Dean demanded and he looked at Castiel. “You know what he did?”

“Yes, he told me before I came home, I tried to tell you earlier but you were busy yelling.”

“I’d like to know too,” Lisa said. “Only the mother.”

Sam grinned at the three of them. “I told him that if he didn’t sign over his rights that Lisa was going to sue him for child support, retroactively from the day Ben was born -- I clearly laid out how the law was on her side, and that he’d be paying out of his weekly paycheck for the rest of his life. He signed on the dotted line less than a minute after my speech.”

Castiel watched as Dean grabbed Sam in a bear hug, then grabbed Lisa and twirled her around the room. As he put Lisa back on the ground Castiel caught Dean’s eyes and Dean grinned at him, kissed Lisa on the forehead, looked at his brother and announced. “Party tomorrow, Cas and I got some stuff...”

“Oh, of course. About damn time too if I must say.” She grabbed Sam by the arm. “Come on, I am sure Jessica wants to hear about this, and I know my mother does.”

Sam grinned at both Castiel and Dean. “You sure you don’t want to have a few beers now?” he asked attempting to look innocent and failing.

“GET OUT!” Castiel yelled, his voice harmonizing with Dean’s. 

~~

Dean woke up saying ‘Cas’, they way he’d woken up every morning for at least a month. Only now it wasn’t only because of a dream he’d been having, it’d been because his body was seeking the warmth of Castiel’s. He sleepily moved in the direction Castiel had been all night, head on Dean’s shoulder, arm around his waist. It’d been comforting and distracting in all the right ways. Dean had fallen asleep with Castiel’s scent wrapped around him, the taste of him in his mouth. Dean had fallen asleep knowing he was going to be Ben’s father paper or not, blood or not, and with the man he’d be with forever. The only problem was the bed was empty of Castiel. “Cas?” Dean said again less mumbled, less sleep-impaired, and he shifted until he was sitting up in the bed, his eyes on Castiel picking out a tie from his sparse collection. 

“Good morning, Dean,” Castiel said, glancing over. “I’m sorry if I woke you.”

“Last night was a school night wasn’t it,” Dean muttered, getting out of bed, grabbing his boxers off the floor and putting them on. 

“I’m afraid so,” Castiel answered. 

Dean grabbed the blue tie off the tie rack on Castiel’s bureau and looped it around his neck. “I was hoping for a sleepy sexy morning, until Lisa called to remind me we have to figure out how we are going to tell Ben.”

“Speaking of that, I want to cook a dinner for everyone this weekend. Sam, Jess, Lisa, Ben...you,” Castiel said, looking directly at Dean, a blush on his cheeks.

Dean smiled as he met Castiel’s eyes and finished tying the tie. Adjusting it, he frowned at the cuts and bruises on Castiel’s face. They looked worse in the light from the morning sun that was coming through Castiel’s window. “What are you going to say about your face, Cas?”

“That I tripped over my own two feet and faceplanted.”

Dean laughed. Not at the excuse but at it’s plausibility. 

“They’ve all seen me walk into the blackboard more than once, it should fly,” Castiel smiled.

“Cas, look, I just want...” Dean cleared his throat. “I want you to know,” Dean trailed off , that lump was back in his throat, and his heart felt like it might leave his chest. 

“I love you, too Dean. I want forever too,” Castiel said for him, and kissed him lightly on the lips, wincing a bit. “I also can’t wait for my lip to heal.”

Dean grinned. “Yeah,” he let his hands fall. “Maybe I can stop by the school around lunch, we can play Teacher’s Pet.”

“Dean there will be no sex on school grounds.”

Dean laughed. “What is so great about that, is you actually believe that...you have no idea what I used to be thinking in the back of your class. I bet students still do. You should hear what Anna Milton used to think, her fantasies made mine look vanilla.”

Castiel was red. “Dean, I have to go teach.”

“I just don’t want to let you go, why did we finally get together on a school day? Play hooky.”

Castiel just shook his head and grabbed Dean’s hand. “Drive me to work?”

Dean nodded. 

Five minutes later, Dean was behind the wheel of his Impala, Castiel was next too him, as close as the bench seat allowed, his hand on Dean’s thigh. “Ready?” Dean asked.

“Always. Go.”

The End


End file.
